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Dramatic Emergency in Market Street Sat the 4th A familiar looking red dressed figure made an appearance in Limavady today. Unfortunately the old man decided to land his reindeer-powered vehicle on top of Wellworths - possibly the only building in town with ne'er a chimney in sight.
	When several of our younger citizens spotted the stranded figure, they called for the fire brigade so loudly, that Limavady's finest, who live just a few yards down the road, arrived within seconds, accompanied by very long ladders and an admiring crowd. The moment of rescue is recorded on the left. We hope that the RSPCA came for the reindeers later.

Another Shop closes in Market Street Alastair Smyth has joined the growing exodus from the centre of town by closing his supermarket. (The boozy cellar is still open) This marks the end of a 95 year old business and there are not many shops left in Market Street. Lovers of Limavady shopping history will be glad to see that the final day was not left un-recorded.

How Green is our Park? The arrangement on the left is the latest environmental protection scheme thought up by the park people. The brown waste pipe drains the large car park, which is very busy during the Summer months. The basic idea seems to be this: All the oil and grease deposited by hundreds of cars is washed unfiltered into the little sheugh, from whence it flows straight into the river Roe. We shall soon have the best oiled trout and salmon in the whole of Ireland. This is as enlightened a policy as the current practice of dumping lorry loads of quarry dust onto all the paths in the park so that the rains can wash the stuff into the river by the ton.

A noisy Christmas Yet again the council is pestering shoppers by blasting music at them whether they like it or not. Numerous loudspeakers cover Main Street, Market Street and Catherine Street and they all scream the same five or six tunes. No wonder people won't shop in the centre of town any more. The appreciation below should be sung - very loudly - to the strains of a well known tune: The Londonderry Blare Oh Danny boy, the pipes may well be calling From glen to glen, but I can't hear a thing. The summer's gone, the noise is quite appalling down Market Street, loudspeakers yell and ring. Should you come back you will go mad with terror The valley's not like in the days of yore. The council says: "We'll play this noise forever" Oh Danny boy, shut up and dream no more.

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